First of all, hi and welcome to my first post on TIG.
I always looked for a website to express my thoughts and worries openly. Thanks to Batool and Heba.

One of the biggest challenges I think most young people in Arab countries face, is prepared marriages vs. love-based marriages. What are those two?, Why should youngsters choose one over the other?, what are the gains/losses of each?, are they applicable to Arabs? What should youngsters take into account before choose one of the two paths? These questions have actually captured my thought for along time.

I will give a quick presentation of both, and give my opinion on each type.

Pre-prepared Marriages:
Pre-prepared Marriages are those where the parents find a bride for their son based on their perception, the reputation of the potential bride, and on their beliefs of what a good bride should be. So the parents at the beginning choose a set of candidates and the son chooses one after meeting them and having some small talks with them. After that, the groom makes his choice and then the two are wedded.

Problems in pre-prepared marriages arise when the period of joy or honey passes and the two spouses are now to deal with life depending on each other. A big problem arises when interests or likes and dislikes overlap. He wants something she wants the other. Another big problem arises in understanding the other. Moreover, a lot of problems arise from the expectations of both spouses. Each one expects a certain path of behavior according to his/her family standards. But on the other hand, having the parents lay out some candidate girls for marriage reduces this problem since most families that like each other come from the same social level.

However, it should be noted, that previously most Arab families have had pre-prepared marriages and hold a much lower percent of divorces than western families. The social and cultural standards in the Arab world regard divorce as a catastrophe and people wouldn't run to it unless there is no other exit to coexist with each other.

Marriages based on love:
Now a lot of youngsters are following the western way of doing things. People are looking for the love that would capture their lives as in Celine Dion's songs. This situation has had many consequences on the society.
I believe that marriage should be purely based on love and the freedom of choice for both potential spouses, the question here is "is that applicable in our society?"

Would this behavior lead our societies to the high divorce rates we see else where. Plus, people copying the behavior patterns of the west contradict our thought and Islam. We are a different culture.

Which path should we follow? What would we want to teach our children about this?